Accept change, but with wisdom and grace

       When I grew up in a large family in a small house, the underlying theme of our existence was one of sacrifice. Apart from my family circumstances, those were truly trying times for everyone and self-denial and self-abnegation were the hallmarks of family life everywhere. Parents routinely sacrificed their dreams and desires for their children and elder brothers and sisters put their ambitions on hold for their younger siblings. There were other small things which went with that way of life; everything that was bought was shared around by everyone — whether it was a packet of biscuits or a bar of chocolate. The entire family would gather around one television set — or one radiogram — and watch one programme or listen to one artiste. There was a togetherness all around in everything one did. You did not have to be a Gandhian to lead such a simple life, such things came naturally to everyone across society. 

           Those times are truly different as I see that the current lot of youngsters everywhere are more comfortable with freely expressing their needs and desires. They do not believe in holding anything back, certainly not their wants; it is what I call the I, Me and My generation. It is the age exemplified by the iPod and the iPad — where each person listens to his brand of music and is lost in the virtual world, all alone — even when in a crowd.

In contrast to my times where it was an effort to be alone, aloneness is available today for the asking. And it is this aloneness which gets you and segregates you from society. It leaves you cold and indifferent to your surroundings and it has also led to a erosion of the good old-fashioned values such as sharing... and caring.

There are other values that are gradually fading from our consciousness: attitudes of genteelness and civility. In these days of high-pitched marketing, the threshold of receptivity has gone up many times. Few people are patient, or have an attitude, to persevere at what they are doing and wait for the results to reflect the merit of their work. Instead, many resort to high-pitched drum-beating to hype their rather meagre endeavours. As an artiste having worked over a quarter century in the film industry, I see the change happening around me all the time This article is not just about griping over a way of life that is slipping away; it is about how such changing attitudes have impacted our psyche and our approach to life.

Change is indeed a way of life; yet change must not be accepted for the sake of change. Every aspect of change need not be progressive; some aspects can be regressive. So while changing, it is important to grasp the kernel of the matter and decide if the change is for the better or otherwise. We cannot lose out on eternal truths, values and virtues on the altar of progress. As the saying goes, we must hasten... but slowly.

                                                                    -ANUPAM KHER